Okay for hiphop...
Don't get me wrong it's not bad at all.
It's just that you should try to speed this up between 160 - 180 bpm. Then it'l sound more like Drum N Bass.
Secondly the chorus did sound off, maybe you have one of the instumental layers a half not down on every note you hear. that could be it.
Or it could be that you have a "false" sounding synth check it out.
But seriously with some improvement you could get it 9 or 10 out of this song!