Great Melody!
But the rapping can really use some work, It's not hating or anything really! but alot of the times your not perfectly on beat.
I do hear that you got great flow, in ways of comparing you with other rappers on newgrounds you actually tell every 2 lines apart from the other.
Wich is good because of variation.
Another little detail is to really REALLY get your doubled vocals perfectly in sync with each other or just use one voice and try to phase it (if you have the options for it)